When The Body Makes Up The Mind
by ColieMacKenzie
Summary: A shopping trip reveals what has been ignored for too long. An H&M piece of fluff. One shot.


This is another fluffy little story. The idea was just stuck in my head and needed to get out at all costs. A shopping trip becomes a decisive event for our most favorite couple.

**A/N:** In case anybody reading this is also waiting for me to continue _"Once Upon A Chilly Night"_ – chapter 3 will be out asap. I feel it requires a lot of involvement from me, and it's the end of my university semester, which usually means chaos and lots of stress, so I couldn't get into the right mindset. But I want it to be good, so I need to take my time.

**A/N:** All that needs to be assumed for the story is the fact that Harriet is pregnant with baby Sarah. I have no idea when exactly that was in the series or how the H&M interaction was at the time, as I haven't seen the episodes (sadly). So if you know, strip all that from your mind, it is not important for this story; simply be in a shippery mood. (Is that too confusing? Well, read on, and if it's still confusing after The End, then let me know.)

Also, if any facts are wrong (like about the stores in D.C., I've never been there, I just needed it for the story), chalk it up to writer's privilege.

Thanks for reading; this is the end of the rambling now.

_- - - Staz:_ I hope I can accomplish for you what your stories did to me. Good luck on those tests! - - -

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**When the 'Body' Makes Up the Mind**

"Oh, look at these!" Excitedly, Mac held up a pair of tiny jeans dungarees that had small pink flowers embroidered around the bottom of the pants' legs. With them came a pale pink short-sleeved bodysuit with a ruffled collar and sleeves. She could just imagine a little baby girl thus attired squirming in one's arms. Actually, she herself was surprised by her choice; she had never seen herself to go for the very girly baby clothes, the pinks, the ruffles, the flowers and such. She more preferred things that made the little ones look just a tad cheeky, like grown-up clothes shrunken to miniature size – tiny button-down shirts, tiny sweater vests, tiny pairs of khaki pants, tiny hooded sweatshirts… Yet now, searching for things to get for a girl, she was all done for.

Harm looked up to see what Mac had picked out this time. They had made the trip to the baby store together to find a few gifts for Harriet and Bud's newest family addition that was due to come into the world in a few weeks. Since they were both going to be godparents again, they had decided that it would be nicer to find gifts for Mac's namesake, baby Sarah, together.

It turned out that baby-shopping with Mac was quite an experience, an emotional rollercoaster to be exact. Watching her face light up whenever she discovered something new that she liked made his heart contract. Her mouth would turn upwards into a smile of true yet simple happiness, and her eyes would sparkle while she held up yet another garment for him to approve of.

He wished he could see her this happy more often. He wished it could be him that made her this happy, every day.

Yet he had also detected that there were moments when she would be scanning the store, not looking at anything in particular, a somewhat detached expression upon her face that he could not read. She'd snap out of it quickly enough, but he knew her too well to not think that this didn't mean anything.

Thus they made their way through the store; accumulating mountains of things that they knew they couldn't possibly all buy. They simply postponed the actual decision-making about what to ultimately choose.

For her, baby-shopping had become like a double-edged sword. It was at the same time hopeful, depressing, inspiring, painful… making her see two versions of the future, the perfect one she desperately wanted and the lonely one she would most likely get.

She'd scan the crowd, and her gaze would fall upon couples who, with their hands clasped together, would stroll through the stores, the women usually heavily pregnant, the men picking up useless items like baby leather jackets that the child would be able to wear for about a day and a half until they outgrew it, all the while having goofy grins plastered upon their faces. And she'd feel jealous, jealous of the couples that had managed to find their match, that were happy, that would be having a baby soon, why was it them and not her. What had she done wrong that other people apparently got right?

And then there were the babies. The store was full of children as well, one cuter than the other, and whenever her gaze fell upon a baby, she felt this indescribable yearning. She had always considered this a cliché, but by now she had learned that it was true, one could really feel one's biological clock ticking. She saw a baby, and her womb would contract, painfully testifying to its emptiness. The sadness that accompanied it was overwhelming.

She had to avert her eyes, and concentrated again on the task at hand. Yet as hard as she tried, whenever she picked out a garment that was supposedly for Harriet's little girl, all she could see in front of her inner eye was how her own baby might look like wearing it. She'd see a little girl, constantly moving her little chubby legs up and down like she wanted to go places she couldn't yet reach on her own. She'd have _her_ big brown eyes, and whenever she'd be laughing, it'd be _his_ flyboy smile that shone through. She was so beautiful, a perfect little combination of them both.

She knew it would never come to this though. Yes, they had the baby deal, but wasn't that just a back-up plan? Wasn't the intention of a back-up plan to never actually be needed? She was sure that this had been Harm's meaning when he came up with _the plan_.

Yet it had managed to turn her world upside down. She couldn't even remember a time when she wasn't in love with him, and ever since _the plan_, every imagined child of hers would always have his features as well.

Oh, wasn't this ever so cute? She had discovered a tiny cardigan – it was the color of rich red wine, and cut in the style of a suit jacket, complete with elbow patches and darts inserted in the back, giving the impression of a waistline. She had to smile at the idea of a baby actually having a waistline, and held the garment up for Harm to inspect it. When her eyes met his, she became aware that he had been intently staring at her. It made her squirmy; sometimes she had the impression that he could see right through her, reading her mind. It would have been a very revealing read for him right about now.

She smiled widely, trying to chase the demons away, and just like that, the moment passed. He took the jacket from her and chuckled when he took in all the details.

They continued their journey through the store. In one of the farther corners, they discovered what could be labeled 'the military section'. They were in Washington D.C., after all, and every store sold some sort of military paraphernalia. Funnily enough, it was Mac that began browsing all Navy things, while Harm sifted through Marine stuff.

"Won't you look at that," Harm suddenly exclaimed, at which she came around facing him. He made his way over to her from the clothing rack he had been browsing through. He held something in his hands, but she couldn't yet make out what it was.

When he arrived right in front of her, he unfolded the tiny baby bodysuit he had brought over. He had just wanted to show her, but standing so close to her now, his head turned a little fuzzy. Purely on impulse, he leaned closer, and held the small garment in front of her stomach. It just seemed to belong there.

Completely taken aback by the gesture, Mac could only stare at him, and then slowly let her eyes drop to see what was so special about that particular body. It was white, except for all the seams that were bordered in green. Marine-green, to be exact. And embroidered on the front, also in Marine-green, she could read "My Mommy's A Marine."

She sucked in her breath. What was he trying to tell her now? They remained rooted to the spot, both their eyes trained on the little body and consequently on her belly. She felt like the little bit of space that was left between them was heating up, blazing her. He wasn't touching her, yet she could feel his hands on either side of her waist as if he were. Her tummy was contracting again, more forcefully this time. She felt her breath growing more labored; felt engulfed by his presence, was drowning in his closeness, his smell, his body heat. The world around them was fading as they both tried to contemplate what their future could look like.

In front of his inner eye, he could suddenly see what she would look like pregnant. He saw her stomach swollen; the whole of her a little more roundish, and it was the most beautiful sight he had ever seen. When they had made _the plan_, he hadn't been entirely sure at the time where the thought of her and him having a baby together had unexpectedly come from. It just seemed right at the time. Yet now he knew that there wasn't anybody else. It had to be her; it was she he wanted to see carrying his baby. What it must feel like to put a hand on her belly and feel their baby kicking inside of her, he wondered.

The thought of touching her anywhere was intoxicating. Having her so close to his body was overwhelming him in a way he had never been overwhelmed by any other woman.

She took a deep breath, which prompted them both to simultaneously avert their eyes from the baby bodysuit to look up at each other. Their position unchanged, their gazes locked and held. Wordlessly, they were communicating all their hopes and fears, desperately hoping the other would understand.

Thoughts of _the plan_ flittered across her mind. She barely noticed since all her thoughts were in turmoil, but she pulled them back; this was important now.

"Why five years?" The words tumbled out of her mouth before she had managed to think them through.

He knew right away what she was talking about; after all, he had just been thinking about the same thing. Were they finally on the same page?

Interpreting his silence wrongly, she emphasized: "Why did you pick five years as the timeframe for the baby deal?" Only about two years had passed. Had he maybe already forgotten about the plan? And if so, what did the baby-body-on-her-belly gesture mean then?

"It seemed right, at the time… Give us both enough time to see where our lives would be heading, what we wanted…" He knew he was stalling. Why was he never capable of expressing to her what he truly wanted? Only with her…

He could see her eyes cloud over, and then she took a step backwards. The moment had passed them by, once again. Another misunderstanding. Another lost opportunity in a row of countless others.

"I think we've got enough stuff picked out," she stated numbly, while putting more distance between the two of them and trying to hide her disappointment. "Let's just decide what we are going to take and head out of here?"

So they did just that, sifting through the wad of garments, each trying hard to disperse the conflicting emotions that had taken a hold of them moments ago. But the easiness from earlier did not return.

The sadness threatened to overpower her, much more than seemed reasonable. After all, hadn't she already known, deep down, that nothing was to come of _the plan_, ever? Why was it so hard then to have it confirmed?

"I think I need to get out of here, I feel a little dizzy…" she announced. It wasn't that she was dizzy so much as sad, confused, angry with herself, and much more that she didn't even want to contemplate. She only knew that she had to put some distance between the both of them right now. She needed to be alone, to recover from the tension, to get a grip on her emotions that were on overdrive.

Immediately concerned, he looked at her, for the first time after their little awkward moment, and questioned "Are you alright?"

"Yeah, nothing a little fresh air won't cure. You know, why don't we take what we've chosen so far? It is all cute…" _'I can't look at you; I need to get away…'_

"Sure, why don't you head outside and sit on the benches? I'll pay this for now and pick you up then?"

"Thanks Harm," she simply said, then headed outside, practically fleeing the store.

Looking after her, Harm was still mulling over what had gone wrong. Mac was almost always composed, yet he had the feeling that her dizzy spell had nothing to do with having been in the store for too long and everything to do with the scene that had just passed between them.

Had it been inappropriate what he had done? He hadn't been thinking at all, merely acting, and for a split second, it had been perfection. He often felt like he knew her by heart, yet when it came to what she might be feeling, he was regularly at a loss.

When she was out of view, he let his gaze trail back through the store when he saw them.

Standing close to him was a couple, a beautiful brown-haired woman, rounded belly proudly shown off, with a dark-haired man, taller than her, who held her hand. Looking at all the many choices, they frequently conversed with each other, sharing intimate glances and sweet smiles. They looked so comfortable with each other, so happy.

That's when it hit him: This could be them. It should be them! He finally knew what he wanted; he had even seen it as if it were already happening! And even though he wasn't sure about Mac's mind-set on the issue, he decided, for once, to do what his feelings told him, to not let another chance pass him by. Not allowing himself to think about the possibility of being shot down, he quickly turned around to browse through a few racks again, a small smile upon his lips.

She was about to get up when she saw him approaching, but he motioned for her to stay put. Their eyes connecting, she watched as he walked over, and then sat down next to her. Once he was settled, she looked straight ahead, and he followed suit. For a few moments, they just sat on the bench in the sun, taking in the day's warmth.

"I have a gift for you," he suddenly said. His voice sounded a little hoarse, like he was unsure about something, or embarrassed. But maybe she was imagining things again. Surprised, she looked up at him, then let her gaze drop to see what he was holding out to her. It was a box from the baby store they had just been in. Why would he get her something from there?

She didn't know what to say, so she simply took it, setting the box down on her thighs and wondering what was to become of this. Slowly, she lifted the lid.

What she saw almost made her heart stop. Perfectly aligned right next to each other were two baby bodysuits. One of them was the one Harm had _shown_ her in the store, the one that said "My Mommy is a Marine." And right next to it was an almost identical one, but instead of green, its seams were bordered in Navy blue. On its front, also in Navy blue, she could read "My Daddy's in the Navy."

She could practically feel how tensed up he was right next to her, waiting for her reaction. In that millisecond, everything just fell into place.

"Are you sure?" was all she thought needed to be said.

"Yes." It was as simple as that.

"When?" came her reply.

"Whenever you are ready."

At that, her eyes that had been trained on the contents of the box finally came around to look at him. The apprehensiveness he could read on her face was quickly replaced by her very sweet Sarah-smile spreading across her features. He felt delirious, his head in turmoil at the thought that she had just now, again, agreed to have his baby; that he had taken a chance and it had not blown up in his face; that in the end, it had been that simple.

She was completely dazed by the sudden turn of events, and couldn't help but smiling sheepishly. It hardly seemed possible, yet here she was, with his gift resembling the most important promise of her life, and with her flyboy in front of her. Maybe she could have it all? The perfect version of the future that she had envisioned countless times took a more definite form by the second, and she wanted it all, with him, the man she loved. He had done the first step; now it was her turn to take a risk, to go for what she wanted.

Her expression growing serious again, she kept her gaze on him, and ever so gradually brought her face closer to his. Once more she became wrapped up in him as if he had an energy field that she couldn't have escaped from if her life depended on it. But she resisted the urge to close her eyes; she wanted, needed to see his reaction. Now their lips were almost touching, and she could feel his breath on her face. It was labored, mirroring her own. Her body started tingling with anticipation. Registering that he seemingly had no intention of pulling away, she plunged.

The moment she touched her lips to his, the world around them sank into oblivion. At first their lips were simply grazing each other, tenderly testing the feeling behind this newly crossed boundary. This is what she had been waiting for her whole life, kissing her true love, her soul mate. At the thought, a jolt of pure happiness ran through her, making her sigh and smile in the process. She couldn't help it; her eyes fluttered closed.

Through their joined lips, he could feel her smile, just before her tongue darted out, softly begging for entrance, which he gladly granted. Tongues touching, they were completely sinking into each other,need replacing their cautiousness. She angled her head and wrapped her arms tightly around his neck, pulling him flush against her upper body, needing the closeness, needing to feel and taste more of him. She felt his arms snake around her; one came to hold her securely at her lower back, while the other was across her shoulder, with his hand tunneling through her hair.

Nothing carnal, this kiss; rather a meeting of two souls, tender and loving. Years of pent-up emotions were poured into it; the unacknowledged love they had felt for each other for so long finally made its way to the forefront as they remained entangled with each other for what seemed like eternity.

Feeling dizzy from the lack of oxygen, but most likely from him, she finally had to break the kiss. With her arms still looped around his neck, she only moved her face as far away from his as was necessary to look deeply into his eyes.

"I'm ready," she whispered breathlessly. "For everything."

The flyboy smile that spread across his face confirmed everything that she had wanted – needed – to know for so long. And then they were kissing once more, tying a bond never to be broken again.

_THE END_


End file.
